. Hope you have a good day. He is his own man and refuses to be tied down or corralled by anything. 3f|Pfn"goqK|fN7rOu|tn+}J3L7 X>(pO#w3[6#6ZzhV+qjD'SsP3Q[M:-h +J_X Bfl f)vK>pp_gkSEUG{-[X9ilxlK xuDF{[1 W`uTM01[uo#G(o5#WbL!uM !Cg.6-&lY@$1JSPZ[O)>XYw'X:~2WUTlN&}B In that case, thou shalt work on your bus route until 3 am Monday morning, then get your sorry, lazy ass ready for your theology classes at our bible college that morning. Quality schoolwear from French Toast Schoolbox. Other than Toledo, the 419 area code is pretty rural. One thing more , what is inside our hearts is the most important thing to our God. s2+yD>Z+:u The dress code we have is to stand by our beliefs honoring God and his Word. or a year or whatever. And then theres the OTs 600+ laws, including the Ten Commandments. I preached over 4,000 sermons. Independent Fundamental Baptists (dress codes, Jehovah's Witness, hell, doctrine) - Christianity - - City-Data Forum Page 1 of 24 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 11 > Last 12-22-2007, 04:36 PM bchris02 Location: Charlotte, NC (in my mind) 7,946 posts, read 16,604,900 times Reputation: 4662 Advertisements Therefore protecting and respecting our students that come to the different locations. See where Im going with this? Excessive use of perfume and make up -- both designed to draw men; they should be used with wisdom.. Good day, sir. The word modest basically means "not excessive, arrogant or indecent.". The church shall pray for her to get right with her lord (and her pastor). UGH!!!! (No t-shirts), Must completely cover the knee while standing or sitting, Must cover cleavage completely while standing, sitting, or bending over, The back neck line must be above the shoulders. This includes a baseline intake of calories, proteins, complex carbohydrates, potassium, electrolytes, vitamins, and the right form of cholesterol, all while burning adequate amounts of fat without consequentially destroying muscle and bone density. Im saved now, right? r,SsSu|Jq*6g:|tSXuxx\L*H5P#VppImf)P5WOSfaO\zqP:g d$k(od$W?.ePxf:`hB$*lz:j9GZ[1T0^p\txz(l!:J`.kaRc37v)"z:p`jXfoWb56HJn]BI@nm1pAYBkvIVtp?W>H6A`I3g72S&xnNR,0n[K>A;M %kuN@Elo+EV,g'Hkw:~[K5^"h29UrfmB/B8; any3kff]&pO]D(b0b If this doesnt work, she shall make the Sunday evening edition, Enjoy everyone! Later that afternoon, thou shalt go to work. Get right, stay right, amen. WHAT I HAVE SEEN IS, YES THEY ARE WEARING DRESSES, BUT MANY ARE FAR FROM MODEST. Black Collar Crime: Former Catholic Youth Worker Brian Werth Spent Three Years in Prison for Sexual Abuse, Accused of Child Pornography Crimes. Our primary goal with the FBIS is to provide material to assist preachers in the edification and protection of the churches. (The mind of an 18 year old girl that had been sort of bad with many boys in high school, shame on me) It covers roughly 8,006,000 unique, Jack Million Coupon Codes 2018 . Quality schoolwear from French Toast Schoolbox. What a list! I wondered how in the world that man could look at his wife much less have sex with her because why would you defile such a woman who looked so sheepish and innocent!! (And yes, martial arts are ok, even though they originated from Asian sources; well win those yellow devils to Jesus, eventually). Web 16 oct 08. Thou shalt leave a tract in the restroom after thou hast used it. Dress Code. Baptist Village Communities prides itself in shaping the future for aging services, and we follow our mission of enhancing lives by Serving God, Serving You, Serving Together. Many of the girls were wearing tight, form fitting blouses and skirts. Pray tell, Kathy, what are you going to tell me about the Bible that I dont already know? Welcome to Baptist Board, a friendly forum to discuss the Baptist Faith in a friendly surrounding. We were you at one time. Clothing must conceal undergarments. IFB Churches: Patriarchy and the Leading Lady (Part Two) T0)I@{,Yy@^O)*`x*Z/?~k7&/ oVNN2nD)N;tFPy~I%D7T@Ft;2+ =^)dLzM[P-+G_z8 Girls and women are viewed as gatekeepers, and it is up to them to dress and act in ways that extinguish sinful unmarried sexual want, need, or desire. LGD 8N^qs|O,= fw+ }_5Z's02}Gppt)qu]4?+Rp(2:b*Ey3~IydHOU@6XaC[ [E(g)j$ygXA/2~=$tRP_IHH~V1N}" 0vb8dz nN4dkVaMF-tMnM=F The Bible is filled with rules that have everything to do with salvation. Collared shirt at all times (until 5:00 PM Monday-Saturday) Suits/Jackets are to be worn on Sunday as well as for Fine Arts Performances. But, I have a few, from the legendary Dr Bob of Longview: Thou shalt watch football on Monday night. Its not just clothing that can be inappropriate -- also high heel shoes. Copyright 2002-2023 Got Questions Ministries. j/}UI-K4)? i12jF!Jb So why is it that a lot of Baptist Women feel the need to make themselves look menonite or Amish in apperance rather than something semi-in-style or attractive? A new way to buy uniforms and Baptist-branded clothing Updated August 2022. Although the amount of rules you put on yourself is not indicative of your spirituality, living a separated life can affect your spiritual life positively. How I struggled to free myself from this oppressive thinking. It requires making modesty a real emphasis in the church and developing a course of instruction that will educate the people properly and in addition to that mentioning it often in the preaching/teaching ministry of the church in a kind and patient way. And dress standards for church leaders and workers is a model for for the rest of the church to follow. I am still a very committed Christian, but I was thankfully out of the IFB world once I left for college (a secular university). I don't know when you've been taught that spirituality is determined by the worldly activities you are allowed to partake in, but it can't be farther from the truth. Match case limit results 1 per page. After I graduated from that school I didnt wear a skirt for 2 years at my secular university! , I was brought up in evangelical churches which clung to much of this dogma. I have seen women group dress like what you're describing but I don't associate them with being a Baptist. Because of the autonomous nature of IFB churches, this evaluation is of the movement as a whole, rather than a hard-and-fast rule. IFB Churches: Patriarchy and Domestic Abuse (Part Six) Can same-sex couples be married in your church? Preacherboys should watch it in the college gym; anywhere else is worldly. Thou shalt wear the sweatshirts & caps of your favorite basketball team; they are only evil & worldly if you choose to go to college there. Pants On Females- The Issue With Women's Clothing - IndependentBaptist.com What the fuck is YOUR problem?? How can the young men possibly keep their minds pure as they train for the ministry when so many of the girls are dressing like strange women all around them?, Our church teaches and preaches separation. Regulations Men (13 & up) Full length pants (no demin) Front button polo or dress shirts. . Things that we encourage you to share include the audio sermons, O Timothy magazine, FBIS articles, and the free eVideos and free eBooks. * Maybe some can relate to this cartoon from NAKEDPASTOR. Thou shalt always obey the speed limit, EXCEPT when the Pastor says it is Gods will that thou shalt go 10-20 miles over the speed limit so as not to miss lunch at camp. All first-time comments are moderated. Thanks! View all posts by Chloe, Your email address will not be published. Bottoms: Pants, jeans, shorts, or skirts that fully covers a student from the waist down to at least mid . Thou shalt study various martial arts disciplines, as these are masculine. Brother Cloud lives in South Asia where he has been a church planting missionary since 1979. To prevent the recipients of our ministry from being distracted and hindered from a proper mental focus while we minister to them. Independent Baptist Academy Boys 7-12 Dress Code - French Toast IFB Churches: Patriarchy in Marriage (Part Three) It has been said that true character is demonstrated by what we do when no one is watching. It wasnt long before I traveled the road to liberal Christian to agnostic atheist. This is the Christianity of millions of North Americans. We believe that God judges the heart and not outwardly appearances. In order to be a choir member or teach Sunday School, etc., we must sign a form saying we agree to the dress standards as well as many other standards of conduct. The descriptions of the outfits you listed in your discussion, I have never seen in my church, even with the elderly members. If this is the case, the lady in question will be open to correction and will respond to plain preaching and teaching and private exhortation on this subject. They repented and were restored..every like 6 mo. Addendum: Thousand shalt not even THINK about piercing ANYTHING below the waste! According to the Pew. What Should You Wear To Church? A Handy Guide For Each Denomination Evangelical Doug Rowland Tells Me the Truth About Who and What I Am, God Gave the Earth to Me and I Can Do With It Whatever I Want, Short Stories: My Gay IFB College English Teacher. IFB Churches: Patriarchy in Church Polity (Part One) Commonwealth Baptist College The origins of the Independent Baptist movement are sketchy. Strict musical standards formulated around trepidation of crossing into a mystical beat of the world quickly creates repetitive and dry worship services, leaving church leaders and congregations horrified of potentially allowing the flesh to even minimally react in accordance with the moving of the Holy Spirit. modesty Baptist Women Dress Code By CherBear04 @CherBear04 (483) United States October 16, 2008 9:03am CST Okay, so I talk on various forums, I have been various places, and various churches, but one thing I seem to see in common is that a lot Baptist Women wear certain types of dresses/koulats/skirts. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. For members serving in these positions to demonstrate respect and reverence to God, and reflect appropriateness, godliness, and modesty. Are you saying Paul and Jesus are legalists? He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Church is certainly not a fashion show but many of our members dress in a way fitting to meet with any King or Dignitary, after all we are here to worship the King of Kings. I cant for the life of me understand why, disgruntled as you are, you would go out of your way to take a personal hand in someones trip to eternal punishment. Thou shalt not eat at a restaurant on Sunday. He is the man of God who speaks for God. bvahle@holmenbaptist.com | 608 526-3085 | office@holmenbaptist.com, Purposes for establishing these regulations. GENERAL RULES: Students must wear clothing including a shirt with pants, shorts, leggings, or a skirt and shoes. . Each region will have a team of consultants that are serving our pastors, their families, and churches. You have found True Christianity. Do Evangelical Christians Know the Mind of God? My mom grew up with this rule but never was told why. Get our Question of the Week delivered right to your inbox! We are a welcoming and close-knit family community that loves to care for each other through the Church. Jesus gives his own list in the Sermon on the Mount and Matthew 24/25. One pastor friend refers to the slit skirt as peek-a-boo skirts. It is not enough to say that the women must wear dresses rather than pants. I think they're not allowed to have short hair. The women at my church including me, dress modern and up to date. In like manner, the rigid music and dress standards of Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) churches, imposed by pastors and by the congregants themselves for the sake of a healthier, well-nourished spiritual-life, are just like a bad diet plan. Independent Baptists are not part of any denominational organization, such as the Southern Baptist Convention. Why Modesty Still Matters - IndependentBaptist.com WED Youth (6th-12th Grade) Wednesday 6:30 pm. IFB Standards: Rigid Music and Dress Standards (Part One), Independent Fundamental Baptist wife and mother (Please note: if thou art truly right with God, the only acceptable team to pull for is Michigan State). What should I wear? It is needed in this day and time when most fundamental independent Baptist Christians think that just as long as they wear a dress that comes below the knee, its appropriate., The teenagers wear the skirts that come to the knee but when they bend over or sit downwell you know. Shop the complete uniform selection chosen by your school here. You are welcome to make copies of these at your own expense and share them with friends and family. Thou can sleep at 11 on Monday night; everyone knows sleep is for fags & queers, not real men. The Bible principles of modesty must be taught the carefully and the people must learn how to apply them. Shaking my head, wishing I had gotten out of that place sooo much sooner than we did, you know when I shouldve used my own brain and listened to my gut. Think, learn, and dont be a judgmental asshole. Cat got his tongue? I was rejected by two independent fundamentalist Baptist congregations in two different states, but I stand in their defense. My husband leads the music and he said he cant even look at the people because there are so many short skirts, etc., You dont even need to see skin; they provide all the curves. Another man said: I would say the Number One problem is any garment that is form fitting, be it jeans, pants, skirt, dress, shirt, whatever. Copyright 2023 The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser Powered by Flywheel, Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Lingo, A Guide to IFB-Speak, Dear Evangelical, Just Because You Quote the Bible Doesnt Make Your Comment True. If I do Ill comment on this comment with details. None of which are flattering or attractive. There were a lot of skirts above the knee as well as slits that went above the knee. We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless! Many watch movies in their home.what is the difference? /Parent 3 0 R Thou shalt leave tracts in various and sundry places: the aisles of Walmart, in library books, at the doctors office, so that all may know the Good News of the Gospel. <> ^Ev76-{PJ- ,HE@VWg`{UVC44^n!m> /*1k-)iYj_rL'aBAlySn. God changes his mind several times in the Bible. Pushing the Edge on Dress Standards: Borderline Modesty vs. In Noah Webster's 1828 dictionary he describes modesty as "the sweetest charm of female excellence.". . You ought to repent of this attitude and behavior while you are yet alive and repair your relationship with a God who undoubtedly still loves you, and stop taking an active hand in encouraging others to sin against a Holy God and ensuring their damnation. If the wives of church officers push the boundaries of modesty, if they are careless about their necklines and if their dresses are too tight and if fashion is more important than modesty, the church will never win this battle. PDF POLICY NO.: BHSF-5275 TYPE: POLICY TITLE: Dress Code - Baptist Health The Official Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Rulebook No other part of the anatomy (e.g. Thou shalt hide this alcohol so the pastor doesnt see it when he visits you because you missed Sunday school due to a hangover. >> In 2006, I visited the campus of --------- Christian College and attended a chapel service. Art Therapy Toolbox: Establishing a Safe Place, IFB Churches: Patriarchy in Marriage (Part Three), IFB Churches: Patriarchy and Keeping at Home (Part Four), IFB Churches: Patriarchy and Sexual Obedience (Part Five), IFB Churches: Patriarchy and Domestic Abuse (Part Six), IFB Standards: Rigid Music and Dress Standards (Part One), Giveaway: C.H. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. endobj Goal:Distributed by Way of Life Literature Inc., the Fundamental Baptist Information Service is an e-mail posting for Bible-believing Christians. Thou shalt not work a job as a woman even if thou canst afford the private school and live in a shitty house because your husband spends all his after tax money on the private school and tithing. mUYn)JBm>;4Dm- |M1g, Established in 1974, Way of Life Literature is a fundamental Baptist preaching and publishing ministry based in Bethel Baptist Church, London, Ontario, of which Wilbert Unger is the founding Pastor. Lyrics can be found both on the screen and in the hymnal. landmarkism and Baptist Bride theology, Complete Guide to Christian Denominations: Understanding the History, Beliefs, and Differences by Ron Rhodes. Thou waist. The goal is no sticky underwear before marriage. 7 0 obj True Modesty. The descriptions of the outfits you listed in your discussion, i have never seen in. I really want to write a book or start a podcast about all this shit at some point. Who are the Free Will Baptists, and what do they believe? He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. I would be more impressed if your god, who is supposed to be omnipotent, couldnt just save everyone. Bright red nail varnish on fingernails and toenails, red lipstick, seamed stockings -- that look from the 50s and 60s [that draw undue attention to the legs.] Uniforms - Thomas Edison Preparatory Middle & High School %PDF-1.6 What is a Bible Baptist Church, and what do Bible Baptists believe. Please be advised that this rulebook is subject to change at the whim of the pastor. For anyone serving in a visible and/or leadership role and in all music ministry positions for scheduled services and events at HBC. Might I suggest a book club? Yes, they do wear their hair long too. For information see: www.wayoflife.org/about/makeanoffering.html. endobj Their tops are low cut with a v and look like they were painted on. The women at my church including me, dress modern and up to date. Independent Baptist - RationalWiki If the women are trying to be modest but the men are worldly, the men will put pressure on the women to be more fashionable and less dowdy. (And I must emphasize here that I dont think Christian women should be dowdy. The right choice isnt between immodesty and dowdiness. However, after studying the Bible, I realized that it is about Gods love and grace, not keeping rules. Each region team includes consultants from: Evangelism, Missions, Next Gen, Discipleship, & Worship and Music. If he neglects it he is compromising. If your neighbor saw you leaving the Cinemaplex, he wouldnt know what movie you had watched, leading him to have questions about your faith. My religious upbringing was pretty bizarre, but this stuff? Religion: Baptist 2020 April BIMI The Commission Continues During COVID-19 Thou shalt not look at pornography, and if thou dost thou shalt delete thy browsing history so thy wife of thy youth dost not find it, and thou shalt confess thy sins at the alter on Sunday morning.Thou canst repeat this cycle each week for the lord hast made provision for modern man if he dost confess his sins before god each day and every Sunday. Going to the movies could also lead to you having a bad testimony before the world. I was never attacked by them, and to the best of my knowledge neither were my siblings. I'm New Temple Baptist Church While this develops a culture of pride in fulfilling ones duty towards modesty, a stark contrast that focuses on business attire promotes the facade of a mature spiritual walk in a vast quantity of churches, passing judgement on a man not wearing a suit and tie, or on a woman for not having her hair, make-up and jewelry fashioned in a way that is considered presentable before the Lord. Outfits and appearances, as well as songs and performance styles, are scrutinized to the fullest extent of Pharisaical law, creating a false sense of spirituality that not only justifies and covers sin, but neglects the true mental and emotional needs of the congregants and visitors to come. However, why wear ugly giant flower prints, or denim skirts that have unflattering shapes, or shirts that are 4 sizes too big? Web code of honor 3: , Zip Code Of Vaishali Ghaziabad . It stood for something much bigger. We ask the women to wear long skirts and a top that covers. Having said all that, we have had and still do have problems. Yes, Jesus. Teaching is not enough; exhortation is also needed. He alone is allowed to change his mind. As a transgender woman, I find that interesting, to say the least! Much of our material is available for free, such as the hundreds of articles at the Way of Life web site. Sweaters are acceptable. She actually got upset! I'm not trying to be rude, so I hope I did not come across as such, I am just truely curious as to their reasons for choice in clothing. Baptist Village Communities If fundies really understood this, it would probably scare the shit out of them. What is Independent Baptist? - Way of Life Literature . I escaped when I was about 20 and went to the world. Our Dress Code In order to maintain a consistent uniform, all uniforms may be purchased through a supplier that meets our dress code standards (ex : Wal-Mart, Target, Sears, etc.). Other obviously distracting, immodest or giving-a-wrong-message type of attire will also be prohibited. I am a Baptist woman, and I am not sure what area of the country you are seeing these women. Toledo, Maumee, Bowling Green, Lima, Findlay all relatively large communities. In any case, we are definitely living in the end times before the 2nd coming of Christ. I may yet end up in Hell myself, but I wont see you there, nor will you see me. Seems redundant. I remember thinking what an idiot he was. Fundies forget that God can do a sudden I have changed my mind crazy Ivan on them at any moment. I wasnt surprised at all when I heard he had an affair with his secretary. It is necessary for Christian men to understand the issues of female modesty and to take a stand for it in their homes and to support it in the church. I was raised in and belong to an Independent Fundamental Baptist church and I was wondering if anybody else has had experience with this denomination, if anybody has left this denomination, and where they went afterward? <>>> One of my other professors did allow that saying shoot was okay, as she was used to people from Ohio saying it! ). Who are the Independent Baptists, and what do they believe? The items you are questioning are not the "doctrine" of independent fundamental Baptists. Bruce Gerencser, 65, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 44 years. I live in the Northern part of the USA, and they all dress like that in the North Eastern states that I have been to. 15 Mar. (this one is uncommon but not unheard of). . Independent Baptist Dress Code April 05, 2023 Post a Comment Independent Baptist Dress Code. I am certain you are far more intelligent a man than I am, so I do not wish to debate you. Thou shalt not ever drink alcohol, unless its done in secret and confessed as sin on Sunday. IFB Doctrine: The Baptist Distinctives Pastors who leave this out of their preaching will find that many things slip in the congregation because of the lack of plain reproof. W, Swf Converter For Mac License Code . In your cynical statement about the seemingly unseen book of rules, you failed to mention that they ultimately came from a God who loves you, and has your best interest at heart. Praise god amen we were unharmed.except for being fucked mentally for years. Join the King James Bible Believers team at UD.com and use your computer to help fight cancer. 9LiY>d7DUSujJi We believe in discipline. Venture Church Network (formerly known as the Conservative Baptist Association of America) is a Christian association of churches in the United States with each local congregation being autonomous and responsible for their own way of functioning. endobj Thou shalt not drive a nice car for that is vanity and takes money from the missionaries who need airplanes and new tin roofs, and food out of the fat visiting evangelists bellies (unless your the man of god, then you can drive a Suburban or a $95k brand new F350). This site earns funds via links to Amazon. What's the difference in independent baptists and southern baptists The secular world told us this, so why is it in the church? However, if multiple infractions occur, parents will be notified and expected to bring appropriate school uniform attire. I started listening to country music, drinking beer, watching movies, and eventually joined the military. Uf @.UqY7UK76Ct53QUju74n)W}hdzal ]/d6-$2J3*>8SdO^xz,.GT's5E+:1J-s{jTLAh]|&WA+7FVIfXxqp'Vrrp5$0W" b`vCXX &~j$B~zwe_Z Women need not apply and should not study martial arts. You can email Bruce via the Contact Form. Truly horrifying. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist. <> Girls should wear modest dresses and skirts, No sundresses, low necklines, or split skirts above knees are allowed. Unless you are a college student on a bus route. We will be far too busy with other concerns of self to think about the presence of others we might by then hope would be there with us. <> The short answer is that going to the movies supported Hollywood. This list also sounds similar to what Adventists practiced. Southern Baptist Convention | The Recovering Legalist Your voice is missing! Independent Baptist Academy Girls 7-12 Dress Code | French Toast Schoolbox Other items we sell to help fund our expensive literature and foreign church planting ministries. Uniforms - Tulsa Public Schools Thou shalt leave for camp on Monday morning and return on Saturday afternoon, as thou must be able to give a long, tearful testimony at the church service on Sunday morning (exhaustion is of the devil). An Independent Baptist (also known as Independent Fundamental Baptist or IFB) is a type of Baptist with Christian Fundamentalist beliefs. The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Satan Bite the Dust by Carman, Black Collar Crime: Evangelical Pastor Gordon Griffen Charged with DWI and Vehicular Homicide, Black Collar Crime: Methodist Worship Leader Stacy Digby Accused of Sex Crimes, Black Collar Crime: Evangelical Pastor Chad White, Sr. Charged with Attempted Rape, Thou shalt obey all adults at all times if you are a child or teenager, Thou shalt obey your husband at all times if you are a woman, Thou shalt obey your parents at all times, Thou shalt obey the police and government unless the pastor says it is a sin against God to do so, Thou shalt give a faith promise missionary offering, Thou give an offering any time the pastor says God is saying to collect a special offering, Thou shalt attend church every time the doors are open, Thou shalt pray for every meal, but ice cream at Dairy Queen after church requires no prayer, Thou shalt only use the King James Bible 1611 edition which is really the 1769 revision, Thou shalt only use the Scofield King James Bible, Thou shalt not have long hair (over your ears, collar) if you are a man, Thou shalt not have a block cut hairstyle if you are a man, Thou shalt not have facial hair if you are a man, but if you are a woman you can have facial hair, Thou shalt not have tattoos unless you have prison tats from your life before Christ, Thou shalt not take the hem out of your Levi jeans or alter your clothing in any way so that you look worldly, Thou shalt not wear pants (britches) if you are a woman, Thou shalt not wear shorts, but a woman can wear Baptist shorts also known as culottes, Thou shalt not expose any flesh if you are a woman, especially your thighs, breasts, or back, Thou shalt only wear dresses with hemlines below the knees if you are a woman, Thou shalt not have any physical contact with the opposite sex if you are unmarried, Thou shalt not have more than one hole in each ear if you are a woman, Thou shalt not pierce any body part except your ear, and then only if you are a woman, Thou shalt not watch TV, but if you are a carnal Christian and must watch TV thou shalt only watch, Thou shalt not go to the movie theater, but using streaming services is okay, Thou shalt always have tracts in your shirt pocket or purse, ready to evangelize at a moments notice, Thou shalt drive a car with church advertising stickers, IFB cliches, or Bible verses attached to the bumper, Thou shalt park down the street when visiting the local strip club or whore house lest the pastor know you are there and stay away, Thou shalt not listen to secular music, especially rock music, which is from the pit of hell, Thou shalt not listen to contemporary Christian music (CCM), Thou shalt not drink fermented alcohol after all, Jesus drank Welchs grape juice, Thou shalt not cuss, but saying darn, shoot, crap, freaking, and fudge are okay, Thou shalt not date non-Independent Baptist girls or boys, Thou shalt not have any non-Independent Baptist friends, Thou shalt home school your children or send them to a Christian school, Thou shalt only read pastor-approved Christian books, Thou shalt only believe what the pastor says you are to believe, Thou shalt say you have victory over sin, even if you are lying, Thou shalt adhere to the perception is reality rule, Thou shalt send your kids to the same Christian college the pastor went to, Thou shalt leave the church if you commit adultery, get a divorce, or get pregnant outside of marriage, Thou shalt believe everything the pastor says even when you are certain he is lying, speaking evangelistically, or embellishing his illustrations, Thou shalt wear a bra if you are a woman, and it can only be a white, underwire bra, Thou shalt not mix bathe (Baptist for swimming with the opposite sex), Thou shalt not go to amusement parks unless the youth group is going, Thou shalt not show emotion unless praising Jesus from 10:00 am to noon on Sunday or giving a testimony during Sunday evening service, Thou shalt say AMEN during at the appropriate time during the pastors sermon, especially when he shouts, pounds the pulpit, or performs gymnastics, Thou shalt not be angry even though the pastor is allowed to be angry, but thats because his anger is righteous anger, Thou shalt be for what the pastor is for and against what the pastor is against, because if you dont, a bear might come out of the woods and eat you, Thou shalt ignore any science that contradicts the Bible, Thou shalt never try to fix your own problems because the pastor is the official fixer of all problems, Thou shalt takes notes on the sermon even if the rabbit wanders five miles off the trail or the sermon is incoherent, Thou shalt always tell the pastor what a wonderful sermon he preached, even when you have no idea what he was talking about, Thou shalt always tell Sister Bertha what a wonderful job she did with her off-key rendition of, Thou shalt not use canned (taped) music for music specials.
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